F for Fail, Z for Zool
I am dissappointed in you. I am severely disheartened.
I’ve just looked at our stats, and the most played game this month so far has been…. Aquarium Scoop Hotshot.
Aquarium Scoop Hotshot.
Really? Is that what you want? I gave you Gamma Bros. and this is how you repay me? Did you hear the soundtrack? Did you see the glorious 8 bit graphics and the parralax scrolling – that game is a masterpiece of the flash developers art and you’re playing aquarium f***ing scoop hotshot? This is about the Majesty Of Colours again, isn’t it!!!1!11! I was going to post a game for you, but I’m not sure you deserve it now…
Well – OK. Gosh darn it, I just can’t stay mad at you. Just know that before you start whining about it, in 1993 I actually went down to the corner shop and spent actual money on this game. You guys honestly don’t know how good you have it. Zool is a pixelly platformer with annyoing music that someone lovingly coded, line by painful line, probably in basic or something. There were no modules, no physics engines to plug into your game production back then, it was men with beards in Leamington Spa, coding basic by day and drinking real ale by night. They were the pioneers of gaming. They were the Elite.
Z!Click here for 90′s home computer action!Z
And if you don’t like that stuff try this for some classic arcade style jollity: Portal Defender I can’t tell you what I’d have paid for a game like this back when I was playing Dizzy on my Amstrad…